Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
