Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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