Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
