Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
