Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
