They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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