puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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