What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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