I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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