someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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