my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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