dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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