Are we in a gay sports bar?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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