her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
