I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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