But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Randomize
