You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
