I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
