Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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