elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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