mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
one might say we're banned from that church
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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