Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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