It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
