These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
