$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
