If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
