Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
