After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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