is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
