So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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