the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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