So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
