Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Randomize
