I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
