I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
