Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
