this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
