you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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