so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I need to calm my uterus...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
