i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
