Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
