ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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