I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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