Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I see more hoeing in ur future
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