Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
