You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
