You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
