What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
