she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
