i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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