I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
