I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I am spending my child support on dildos
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
