Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
