Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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