He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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