4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
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i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
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When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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