I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
