your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
