Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
