Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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