Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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