yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize