I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
