he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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