they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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