I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize