Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
