You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
