Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize